The Unfortunate Birds Residing In Devon

In Devon, they dress crows in wedding dresses


and make them marry gentlemen's dogs.


In Devon, rare birds are caught and weighed down, 


and are made to run long country jogs. 


In Devon, they throw shoes at owls, 


and say they have no regard for the rules, 


In Devon, they bake geese in large cakes,


and 'shooting' is in the curriculum at schools. 


In Devon, swans are drowned for vandalism, 


and ornithology is tantamount to tax evasion. 


In Devon, sparrows are tied to helium balloons,


and they're all let loose on a ceremonial occasion.


In Devon, they blame crime on starlings,


and use beaks to 'pebbledash' their houses.


In Devon, men like to fight cockatoos


and women wear feather blouses. 

In Devon, children are encouraged to take up sport, 


'raven rounders' is a favourite in many schools, 


In Devon, the elderly enjoy a round of 'dove darts',


and they also like a spot of 'blackbird boules'



In Devon, birds are locked up for stealing fruit, 


such as the prized granny smith and Cox’s. 


In Devon, prisons are full of gannets and falcons, 


and the prison guards are all cats and foxes. 



In Devon, there are no visitors, 


and there isn't a tourist board, 


In Devon, there isn't a local MP, 


just a bird-watching slaughter lord.

"There are flocks of things in the garden..."

                                           

"There are flocks of things in the garden,"

my little sister said to me, 

"They float, they hover, they dance, 

and they hunt in packs of three"

"Creatures walking with nine legs,

riding in the wheelbarrow,

Goblins with yellow teeth, 

some firing a bow and arrow"

"They're trampling on the plants, 

they're digging up the trees, 

They're eating the rose bushes

and scaring away the bees!"

"Calm down little sister, 

I can understand your pain, 

but it's all quite, quite simple, 

so let me explain..."

"I know where they came from,

those little men eating our rooks, 

they all came from a mans mind 

they came from your storybooks"

"You must have left a book open

when you fell asleep last night,

and then they crept outside,

each pixie, imp and sprite"

"Imagination is all we can hold onto, 

it's personal and very endearing,

I imagine a monster everyday, 

just to stop mine from disappearing"

"Now go and get your books,

and fetch the spare rabbit cages, 

we'll gather them all together, 

and crush them back into their pages"

By David J Walker, aged 22.